You may not be wealthy. Your job may be mediocre. Your circle of friends may be limited. The life stage from which you “perform” may have a small audience. None of that is important. You are powerful…very powerful. Here is a list of very powerful actions that may change another person’s life…and your own:
Smiling at a stranger for no reason at all,
Waving to a neighbor,
Giving homemade cookies to anyone for any reason,
Sharing a meal with someone who’s tired or hurting,
Helping a stranger load groceries into her car,
A hug to a friend who is discouraged,
A word of praise, encouragement or appreciation to a stranger, wait staff, clerk or family member,
Forgiving someone who feels ashamed or embarrassed…or who is undeserving of such kindness,
A strong “No” that prevents someone from doing something disrespectful or dishonorable,
Sewing a ripped garment for another,
Trapping the gopher ruining a neighbor’s lawn,
Providing a computer solution for a tech-poor friend,
Simply listening with compassion when someone is upset,
Giving a bottle of cold water to the mail delivery person or someone working in your yard on a hot day…
Hear about the power of a word of encouragement, appreciation or gratitude from Episodes 3, 4, and 5 on the Relationship Rehab Show.
Everything on this list and more I have either done or had done to me. Doing these things builds a foundation of caring and good character. Every positive act has ripples we may never see, but nevertheless adds real good to the world. Powerful actions can change a life.
Other Behaviors Are Powerful, Too
Ignoring an attempt to get your attention,
Criticizing or belittling a person who’s trying,
Being silent when someone needs a word of encouragment,
Withholding your love,
Refusing to acknowledge an accomplishment,
Reacting with anger or blame when something doesn’t go your way,
Nurturing hurt feelings so that they grow rather than dissipate,
Refusing to ask for forgiveness when the fault is yours.
These choices deliver pain and isolation every single time they are practiced. These, also, create ripples of negative effect that we may not be aware of. An adult has a bad day at work. S/he walks in the door and loudly demands dinner or complains about the toys strewn about. The partner is hurt and starts the silent treatment. The kid kicks the dog. This ripple effect is not just a joke. It truly happens.
My friend Yitzi Weiner cites the genesis effect. Whatever energy you bring into a room “infects” the people there with either your bad mood or your happiness to be with them. Your energy precedes you like an odor or aura that has either a positive or negative effect on everyone with whom you have contact. Some people are so sensitive to the energy of others that they have to erect emotional barriers to keep from “going down” with a person who is depressed or full of resentment.
The Dalai Lama says that if you think you’re too small to make a difference, remember the mosquito!
You have my love and support,
