This is longer than my usual newsletter, but it’s a story about a lost dog that continues to inspire me so I’m sharing it with you this week!
Fall, 1977
It was a crisp November morning. Normally I revel in cool Autumn days, but I hadn’t been able to shake the depression that had clung to me for weeks.
When my sons, Steven and Peter, were just babies my husband, their dad, died. For such a long time the boys were my only reason to keep going. The past few years, though, I had begun looking forward to life. I prayed for a ‘knight in shining armor’ to provide the love and companionship I needed and guidance for my growing boys. God didn’t seem to be in any hurry to answer that particular prayer, however. Now the boys were on the brink of becoming teens.
Plagued by Doubts
I believe in God. My boys and I prayed together often. Some of our prayers had been answered miraculously. Our little family was doing fairly well, I thought. Our finances were adequate, we had many friends, we were active in a growing, dynamic church. I taught Sunday School, the boys were generally polite, active, dead-frog-in-the-pocket kind of boys. But was I doing a good enough job to see them into adulthood? Steven still had a great many confused feelings about his dad’s death. Peter, looking for a male role model, watched every man very closely and sometimes would mimic their behaviors. What if they needed more than I could give them to become happy, well-adjusted men?
I was insecure not only about my role of mother and the futures of Steven and Peter. What about me? What would I do when they were gone? Would I always live with this core of loneliness inside? Did God really hear the quiet cries of my heart? Would He answer the deepest needs of my boys? Did He care?
As a temporary antidote for these relentless questions, I decided to get an early start on Christmas shopping. At 3 p.m. I picked up the boys in front of their Junior High School. Eating out and getting a jump on their shopping sounded good to them so we returned to the mall. We had fun and accomplished so much that we only left when the stores closed.
A Lost Dog
Our dog Lady usually met us at the gate wiggling, prancing and grinning. She was always glad to see us and eager for the warm house, her dinner and our company. That night she wasn’t there. We called for her and searched our yard. The boys got on their bikes and rode in opposite directions, yelling her name. I got back in the car and traced the nearby streets looking for her body. My imagination was running wild and my stomach tied in knots.
At 10:45 p.m. I rounded up the boys and told them to come home to bed. I tried to sound hopeful as I said, “She’ll probably return during the night. If not, you can stay home from school so we can all look for her tomorrow.”
A Boy’s Prayers Answered
A dog had been Peter’s idea. When he was four and five years old, he would often come to me asking for a dog. I had never liked or trusted dogs and was determined never to own one. Every time Peter approached me about the issue, I told him to ask God, not me. Because God would have to change my mind about a dog. I thought I was perfectly safe. Even God could not make me want or even tolerate a dog. Peter quietly and persistently continued to pray.
When he was six, after a series of events that could only have been orchestrated by a God who loves little boys and puppies, we got Lady. Or, more accurately, she took ownership of us. Her big brown eyes radiated her lavish giving of love and loyalty. She made each of us feel like we were her favorite. Somehow, with her, we felt more like a whole family.
Now she was lost. Since Lady had first been the heart’s desire of Peter, I was especially concerned for him. I went to tell him goodnight. After answering some questions with reassurances I didn’t feel, we held hands to pray, as we did every night.
More Prayer
Peter prayed, “Dear Jesus, thank you for this day. Thank you for all the shopping we got done. Thank you that you love us. And thank you that you promise to meet our needs. Right now we need to know that Lady is all right. So I ask you to either bring her home tonight or help us to find her tomorrow. In Jesus name, Amen.”
I mumbled a few prayer-like phrases and said goodnight. I was amazed! Where did Peter get the faith to pray like that? Why was he so calm when I knew how much he treasured that dog? Even without knowing that Lady was safe, he seemed content to rest his case.
Different Stages of Faith
I was still in awe of his prayer when I went to Steven’s room. I sat down on the edge of his bed. He said, “What does God mean when He says He’ll give us whatever we ask for? It sounds like a gimmick to me!”
I just smiled at Steven, realizing my growing adolescent needed to ask questions like that or our faith would never become his own.
I quickly prayed for wisdom and asked, “Steven, do you know how much I love you?”
“Yes,” he answered.
“How much?”
“A whole lot!”
“And do you know that I only want what is best for you?”
“Yes.” His answer was confident.
“So as much as I can, I give you all that I can that I believe is good for you. Many things that I feel would be good for you are just not in my power to give. But God is all-powerful. He has access to everything. I believe that He loves you so much and knows you so well that He will give you anything you deeply desire that He knows is good for you.”
Steven seemed to accept my answer when he said, “Oh, O.K.”
I wasn’t sure he really understood, but then, I wasn’t certain that I understood either. We prayed for Lady’s safety, hugged, agreed we were scared and said goodnight.
Peter was already asleep!
Praying and Worrying
I propped myself up in bed and reviewed those two conversations. I sensed God smiling along with me at the difference between the boys’ prayers. They were only 18 months apart in age and yet one was still a trusting little boy and the other trying to become a man. I told God how afraid I was for Lady. It seemed like being afraid had been a common condition of mine lately. Praying and worrying, I finally dropped off to sleep.
I awoke sometime later to the sound of Lady scratching on the door. I jumped up to let her in but the door opened to black emptiness. It had only been a dream. I cried, surprised by how much I cared about this dog I had not wanted. I finally returned to sleep.\
We Search…
Early the next morning we searched around our neighborhood. Animal Control had been seen the day before, so we hurried to the shelter only to see that Lady wasn’t there. The boys began canvassing homes in a wider circle while I made copies of a “Lost Dog” flier.
Hours later, while nailing up the umpteenth flier, I mused, “If Lady is alive, I know she is frantic. I wish her doggy brain had some understanding of how much we love her. She would be calmer if she knew how hard we are working to find her.”
A Lesson for Me
God’s Spirit immediately reminded me of the Psalm I had recently been memorizing. He said, “You can’t even count how many times a day My thoughts turn toward you. And when you waken in the morning, I am still thinking of you.[1] Like Lady, you’ve been feeling lost and alone. You would feel so much better if you trusted My promises to you. I love you beyond your understanding and am working constantly on your behalf.”
I was stunned. Lady’s fear was due to the limits of her knowing. My anxieties were due to my lack of belief in God’s word.
We followed many dead ends that day. We were almost afraid to hope when another clue came late in the afternoon. An attendant at a nearby gas station had seen a man put Lady in his car after she was nearly hit by another vehicle. That kind man had left his name and number at the station in case her owners inquired!
Found!
When we were reunited with Lady a great dam of relief flooded over us, washing away our fears. We had a very healthy, happy dog trying to lick all of us at once. Safely in our home, we all piled on the floor with Lady. We cuddled and hugged each other—glad for her wet kisses—until we all calmed down. Worn out from nervous exhaustion, Lady slept for most of three days. Yet today in her heavenly home, she may not even remember that traumatic experience.
But I will always remember. For so long my thoughts and feelings had been focused on fear and uncertainty. God used the temporary situation of a lost dog to help me see my existence from a new perspective. Lady was such an important member of our family that we used every way we could think of to find her when she was lost. If there had been any way to reassure her that we were coming for her, we would have.
The boys and I are members of God’s family, and with that relationship we have profoundly more love and resources than we could give Lady when she was lost. He was intimately involved in our creation. He assures us that He knit the pieces of us together[2] and so knows each of us—and our needs—intimately.[3] He always sees where we are and where we are going even when we see only darkness.[4] Unlike Lady, we can never get out of His sight. We can never be lost to Him![5]
[1] Psalm 139:17,18 Living Bible
[3] Psalm 139:1,2 Living Bible
[4] Psalm 139:3-5, 11-12 Living Bible
[5] Psalm 139:6-7 Living Bible
If this story touched you and you want to talk about it, you can contact me with this link: https://nancylandrum.com/contact/
You have my love and support,
