Respect is built on Trustworthiness. Are you trustworthy? Here are some common ways that you may be losing the trust, and therefore the respect of your loved ones or fellow teammates…
Do You Do What You Say?
Do you arrive home when you said you would? Are you present at your child’s game or performance when you promised? If you agreed to have a chore done by a certain date, was it completed on time? When you agree to a deadline, do you keep your agreement?
REASONS: Perhaps you habitually underestimate the time a task requires. A solution is to think through the logical, usual amount of time it takes to do something, and be sure you allow a generous amount of time to complete it. That way you can arrive in the time you promised which will build trust.
Maybe you have a habit of promising something because you want to please your boss or loved one, but even while you promise, you know it can’t be completed in that time frame. Then you lose their trust because it isn’t done when promised. THE SOLUTION that is temporarily painful, but will ultimately build trust is to tell the truth in the beginning. “I’d love to have it done by then, but realistically it will probably take until….”
How often do you tell your wife or child, “Yes! I can do that with you!” and then fail to follow through? You are training your loved one that you cannot be counted on to keep your word.
Do Others Trust You to Treat Them With Respect?
Do you listen with respect? Or are you formulating your argument while the other person is speaking? Do you interrupt while the other is speaking? Are you using attacking language that makes the receiver feel demeaned, defensive or unimportant? Are your coworkers or loved ones confident they can come to you with a problem or a mistake and know they will be treated fairly?
THE SOLUTION: Learn and use respectful communication methods. Listen until you know the full story before addressing an issue. Use non-attacking or non-judgmental language when addressing an issue. Example: “When you are later than you promised, I feel worried.” Or, “When the job is completed late, I feel frustrated. “
When you are too angry to deal with an issue respectfully, say, “I need __minutes to calm down before addressing this issue.”
If your child comes to you with a mistake or accident, does he know he’ll be treated humanely? Is she confident she’ll be treated with fairness?
Do You Respect Another’s Boundaries? Culture? Beliefs?
Do you use sarcasm to poke fun at another’s values? or commitments? or culture? Is the use of derogatory nicknames something you do…even playfully? Are you critical of your child because his interests and talents are different than yours? Even if you think it’s in fun, have you considered how hurtful it may be to make comments about another’s body? size? intelligence? interests? ethnicity or culture?
The Pay-off of Being Trustworthy
Your children are not afraid to confide in you. You know your spouse feels safe in your presence. Your boss recommends you for a raise or promotion. Friends trust you to keep their confidence. Others seek your advice. Decisions are easier when evaluated with the goal of being respectful, truthful, and trustworthy. These results are all valuable, but the biggest pay-off is that you enjoy your own self-respect.
You have my love and support,
Learn more at Millionaire Marriage Club