You aren’t rolling the dice and hoping for the best anymore! Your chances of having a happy, loving, lasting marriage have gone up to almost 100%!
Thousands of Marriages Provided the Data
Those kind, geeky souls who love research and data collection have provided the proof. They, (meaning Dr. John Gottman, Bernard Guerney, Jr, Michelle Davis, Harville Hendrix, Notarius, Markham, Laura Doyle and hundreds of others) have provided solid proof. “Of what?” you ask.
There are:
- certain behaviors that, without fail, create an unhappy marriage, and
- certain basic attitudes that are consistently true of healthy, happy marriages, and (this is important!)
- any couple who is unhappy can duplicate the skills and habits of a happy marriage and become happy!
Learning a New Skill for a Happy Marriage
The process of learning a new skill is the same in any field.
- Begin by admitting you don’t know something you want to know.
- Find someone who knows what you want to learn.
- Humble yourself to be a learner.
- You make mistakes, do it well a few times, and gradually get better.
- If you’re willing to practice enough, you eventually master that skill.
- You begin teaching others.
The Ripple Effect of a Happy Marriage
You toss a pebble into a pond and the disturbance of that pebble ripples out in waves that go to the far shores. I’m fascinated and encouraged by the ripple effect. After a couple transforms their marriage by learning, practicing, and mastering skills that create a happier marriage, the ripple effect begins. They use those great communication skills, not only with each other; but with their children, a sister, a cantankerous parent…and, on the job. Soon others are learning better communication and conflict management skills from their friend, co-worker, or parent.
A Recent Example
Josh and Mollie learned how to speak more respectfully to each other. They learned how to “mirror” back to the other what was said to be sure it was understood. Perception Checking prevented misunderstandings. They practiced these skills with their children whenever they were upset. (It worked to calm them down and help them think clearly about how to handle that situation.)
Josh is a Registered Nurse. He noticed that upset patients calmed down when he used these skills with them. He got excited about the possibilities of improving patient care. What if the nurses were trained to use these skills?
He put together a research project using a measure reported by patients that partially determines the percentage of repayment given to a hospital from Medicare. The higher the patient scores their quality of care, the greater the financial compensation to the hospital.
The results were as outstanding as they are with couples who improve the quality of their marriage! The hospital began to see the possibilities. Josh has presented his findings at staff meetings, an upper management board meeting and a nursing conference. At the nursing conference, the project won first place out of 10 other presentations!
An Alternative to Divorce, Lawlessness and Even War
We’d all like to see the end of senseless, cruel wars. Most divorces create more pain in the future than they resolve. Lawlessness is caused by people who’ve been treated badly or neglected or abandoned as children. Going back to the single most influential, basic denominator, it’s an unhappy or dysfunctional marriage. If every unhappy couple learned new habits, skills, and attitudes that would result in a happy, well-adjusted marriage, how would that impact society? What if every child was raised in a peaceful, loving home?
I’ve Witnessed the Transformations to a Happy Marriage
I know this happens on a small scale, one couple at a time. What if it became the norm to learn effective skills before committing to marriage or whenever a painful problem shows up in a marriage? Can you imagine the impact on our society if most, if not all marriages became peaceful, respectful, loving and happy? If the skills practiced by those marriages rippled out to their daily contacts, like is happening with Josh, imagine the good! I’m growing a vision that is that big! Mahatma Ghandi said, “A small group of determined and like-minded people can change the course of history.” Hitler influenced thousands to follow him into evil. Abraham Lincoln and many others also effected massive changes for good. Why not here and now? For the good of all!
Join the Force
If you wish your marriage was happier, stronger, and more capable of resolving conflict peacefully, join the Millionaire Marriage Club! It’s a simple, affordable step that will teach you the skills characteristic of all happy marriages. Watch that happiness ripple out to your children, your extended family, and maybe even your work environment! Join here: Millionaire Marriage Club
You have my love and support,
