There are many common behaviors that damage relationships. In addition to originally using some of these methods myself, (with disastrous results) I have seen all of these behaviors in operation with clients that I’ve coached for the past 28 years. Some are simple to rectify. Others take some focused attention to change. But all can be exchanged for relationship practices that build loving connection!
LACK OF COURTESY IS A BEHAVIOR THAT DAMAGES RELATIONSHIPS
You believe the women’s liberation movement exempts you from being courteous…gentlemanly. One of the first things that “sold” me on Jim was that he was so courteous. He guided me by holding my elbow as we navigated through a crowd. If I needed to sit down, he held the chair for me before seating himself. Doors were always opened for me. He walked beside me, often holding my hand. One of my pet peeves is seeing a man walking ahead of his wife/girlfriend making her follow him like a servant! Rudeness and disrespect are behaviors that damage relationships! Common courtesies are always present in healthy relationships.
POOR COMMUNICATION IS A BEHAVIOR THAT DAMAGES RELATIONSHIPS
Most of the couples I see complain that “We just can’t communicate.” Everyone is always communicating! What they really mean is that one or both of them are using communication methods that demean, attack and disrespect. One or both are refusing to share their feelings, concerns and desires with the other. One or both of them are not listening with the intention of understanding the partner’s point of view. Poor communication is is a common behavior that damages relationships. In a healthy relationships that last, respectful communication methods are learned and practiced until they become habitual.
HIDING OR LYING IS A BEHAVIOR THAT DAMAGES RELATIONSHIPS
A woman recently confessed to me that she’d accumulated a lot of debt without her husband’s knowledge. She is angry with him for working long hours. Buying things to soothe herself is easier for her than sharing with him how she feels. Some men secretly practice pornography, believing it is a victimless crime. Wrong. Your relationship is suffering, as is your self-respect. This is a behavior that damages relationships. Lies always become known eventually. Sooner or later the relationship may crash and burn because the lies have come to light.
ADDICTIONS ARE BEHAVIORS THAT DAMAGE RELATIONSHIPS
The addict’s main relationship is with the substance of the addiction leaving little room to practice or nurture a healthy relationship. We all have addictions. A piece of chocolate after dinner. A favorite TV show. We depend on these things to bring pleasure to our lives. A habit may be harmless in itself…work, gym workouts, an online game…but when a practice takes away from the time and attention it takes to nurture a healthy relationship, the addiction must be addressed. Anger can be an addiction…a way to discharge frustration even though you know it hurts those you love. Addiction is a behavior that damages relationships.
If one of these or others are damaging the quality of your relationship, and you need help addressing the issue with your partner, schedule a complimentary coaching session with me asap! Appt with Nancy
You have my love and support,
P.S. Don’t forget the Limited Time Offer for Millionaire Marriage Club and the Stepping TwoGether Edition for only $29/month including a 7 day free trial! Click HERE for more info!