The movie starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell has made the term, Groundhog Day, a metaphor for anything that happens over and over again with confusing, agonizing dependability.
Could this be true of your marriage? Are you having the same argument over and over again? Feeling the same frustrations with each other? Unable to communicate effectively? Bored with the same-old, same-old routines?
Having nothing but Marriage Groundhog Days gradually drains the energy out of your love.
Murray’s character was bewildered and frustrated because nothing changed…not the calendar, the activities, the people, until he got the message that he needed to change! He did, and then life began to be fresh and fun again.
To expect things to get better without any positive changes being made by either partner is crazy-making.
When my marriage to Jim was desperately unhappy I sincerely believed that Jim was the only one who needed to change. But I was finally in enough pain to seek help for me. I began to see what only I could change…my way of handling anger, for one.
Fortunately, Jim eventually got on board so we could, together, learn better communication and conflict management habits. We resolved our differences and began enjoying each other again!
Have you been waiting until your partner was willing to seek help with you? Are you convinced that nothing can get better until he/she changes?
In my twenty-five years of coaching, I’ve noticed that one partner is often the initiator…the one to say, “We need help!” and to look for help even if the spouse isn’t willing to go along with it. Is that person you? Are you willing to initiate change?
Schedule a call with me. No charge. No obligation. I’ll help you explore where to start…with or without your partner’s participation. https:meetme.so/SpeakWithNancy
Have the courage to “Be the change that you wish to see in the world marriage.” -Mahatma Gandhi
